Getting Old

I thought that I'd be good by now

How was I supposed to keep it in when everything I feel so important
And I've only ever been so good at hiding the mess I've been turning my insides outside
I'm sorry, how do I sit with it? My dreams are killing him, not him
Just a version of him, the one that never loved me
Still I let him in my bed, that's just one of many things I could talk about for hours

I confess, I thought that I'd be good by now
I thought that I'd be good by now

I'd be all grown up but I keep getting older, older
And I thought I'd be a big girl now
But I'm just getting older, older
And I thought I'd be a big girl now
But I'm just getting older, older
And I thought I'd be a big girl now
But I'm just getting older, older

It's the same fight, but the ones get deeper
I guess all night and I just keep dreaming
Can't catch my breath, got a heavy stress in this small house
'Cause I'm a loud screamer, I let it all out when it's all in
The energy stops, that's why I always end up night drinking
But I get no buzz and I keep thinking that I have no trust
I can't catch my breath, got a heavy stress

I thought that I'd be good by now
I thought that I'd be good by now

I'd be all grown up but I keep getting older, older
And I thought I'd be a big girl now
But I'm just getting older, older
And I thought I'd be a big girl now
But I'm just getting older, older
And I thought I'd be a big girl now
But I'm just getting older, older

Oh, oh, oh, older