9. Are There Really Goodbyes

我会冷静 我是个成年人
我会儿好好处理 绝对不会失控的
当我坐在计程车里
看著熟悉的街道跟大楼
在她伤透我心的两个月后
我该说些什么呢

也许等一下 我就能知道他在想什么了
也许再过一小时 我就能把所有的不满表达完
然后把这首歌写完了
也许最后内衣裤都会散落在地板上
但也许我又会醉倒在某个路边吧

内心深处部分的我恨著你
但我正看著你温柔的双眼
我甚至没注意到烟都烧到我的头发了
上天啊 这是什么永不停止的旋转木马吗
我怎么永远都离不开它
内心深处部分的我还爱著你
当我听见你真诚的笑声
卷发跟午夜的啤酒 就像冻结的时间
上天啊 你带给我的所有人
从来就没有意图要让他们离开吧

我的脑袋呀 你今晚能不运作吗？
我需要不理智的把话都讲开
我的内心呀 你能暂时把所有想法说出口吗？
我们用完全感性的方式面对它吧
你呀 我要的只是沟通
这两个月间的每个寂静跟招呼都快把我窒息了

也许我会知道除了你的音乐才华外
我到底还在留恋什么
也许我会看清些什么
毕竟大家都知道我总是盲目的
也许我会变得更机灵
但这机率大概也不高吧
我本来就不是什么幸运的人

20：02 我闪过了回忆
那些酒精 即兴演奏 跟炸薯条
23：30 我像被放逐般
看见了所有原本可能会拥有的结果
01：40 我也没什么好失去了吧
按下了通话键 想著我在搞什么
但结局又还能怎么更糟呢

02：02 我发现自己不带任何后悔
站在一模一样的老地方
日出了 烟灰缸也满了
与当初相同的眼神凝视著我
早晨的某个时候 衣服都掉到了地板上
这是一时的软弱吗？
还是根本就没有再也不见？

Saying I’ll be calm, I’m a grown up
I will behave and not totally lost control
When I’m sitting in the taxi
Looking at the streets
And the buildings I recognised from before
Didn’t know what we’re gonna say
After 2 months since she broke my heart

Maybe I’ll learn in a moment
After he said whatsoever he had in his head
Maybe I’ll finish this song in an hour
After I spilled all the rage on my plate
Might end up in my lingerie
Or just drunk girl dead again

Deep down a part of me hates you
But I was staring at your tender eyes
I didn’t even realise my cigarette burnt my hair
Oh Lord, what is this ever-spinning carousel
That I never seem to get off
Deep down a part me loves you still
When I hear your delicate giggles
Curly hair and late night beers, frozen recollections
Oh Lord, all the people you brought me
You never meant for them to part away

Hey brain, can you not work tonight?
I need to talk without being rational
Hey soul, can you pour it all out for now?
Let’s handle this all emotional
Hey you, all I want is a conversation after 2 months
You know the silence and every hello’s killing me

Maybe I’ll know what I’m holding on
Aside from your musical talents
Maybe I’ll see what I’ve missed
After all I’m known for sightless
Might end up being smarter
But I highly doubt the chances
I am never good with chances

Deep down a part of me hates you
But I was staring at your tender eyes
I didn’t even realise my cigarette burnt my hair
Oh Lord, what is this ever-spinning carousel
That I never seem to get off
Deep down a part me loves you still
When I hear your delicate giggles
Curly hair and late night beers, frozen recollections
Oh Lord, all the people you brought me
You never meant for them to part away

Two after eight, I had the flashback
All the liquor and the jamming and the fries
Half past eleven, I’m in exile
All the maybes came to light
Forty after one, I got nothing left
Hit call and thought what the hell, but
What’s the worst could happen, anyway?

Two after two, I found myself
Standing in the same place with no regret
Sunrising, ashtray overload
Same affection locking into my eyes
Some time in the morning, clothes on the floor
Was it a moment of weakness?
Or, are there really goodbyes?

Deep down a part of me hates you
But I was staring at your tender eyes
I didn’t even realise my cigarette burnt my hair
Oh Lord, what is this ever-spinning carousel
That I never seem to get off
Deep down a part me loves you still
When I hear your delicate giggles
Curly hair and late night beers, frozen recollections
Oh Lord, all the people you brought me
You never meant for them to part away